Clayton Heeley

Seeking out Euphoria

Over time, things are changing.

Waiting rooms of rough cast walls and silence.
Appointment cards, letters and medication become souvenirs, and milestones.
Reduced to body parts and medical terms.
Being placed on lists, alone with unanswered questions.
Counting down the days, hoping for a phone call or a letter
Until all hope is lost.

Trapped in a life of liminality.
Using the static time to learn to connect with a body that I have always lived in,
but do not recognise as my own.
Imagining a future where I do not fear my reflection
and can look at my frame without the urge to cover a section
that resembles the body that was never mine.
Seeking the moment where I can escape the darkness and find comfort in the light.

Growing and transitioning to live as my authentic self.